a conversation Ngoc and I had very recently:

N Oh my God, Dave. That's a spider, that's a big spider, that's a black widow. That's definitely a black widow. Its got a big red dot.

D What? Where. Are you sure? [looks at spider] Yeah, well, if that's not a black widow, its definitely something scary.

N Can you, like, flick it? Can you get a stick and flick it off the porch?

D OK. [gets stick, starts flicking]

N He's going to jump on you and kill you

D I know, I'm being careful. He's hiding right now. [more flicking]

N Can we spray him? Oh, we don't have a hose. Can you use a squirty thing?

D Good idea [gets squirty thing]

N What about 409? Can you squirt him with 409?

D What? Why...let me just try the water [squirts spider off porch and onto first story patio, below our apartment]

N I'm going to get some 409 and finish him